Scanning the East Coast for a spell before being back West-

Got a team name? motto?

Here are some problems we wrote:

– picture of Thomas Jefferson

– picture of M. Night Shyamalan + Haley Joel Osment

Answer: 11

5 cents + The Sixth Sense


-big card with a picture of the state of Ohio, South Carolina, Georgia, Nebraska, Texas, Minnesota, Kansas ..

-big card with 9 – e + a

-big card with a picture of a 16 oz. + a

-big card with a picture of Santa (Claus) + a picture of Maria Shriver

Answer: 1492

Columbus [sailed the ocean blue] with the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria



The Jacqueses do the brainy chihuahua/beagle’s bidding for earnings for dairy delights.

Will they win the 2K contest prize to get more?

Team photo in Chinatown, DC


Being a fan of Jim Jarmusch movies, I somehow got the romantic notion it would be “neat” to live in Memphis, Tennessee, ala his film ‘Mystery Train’. Memphis, home of good bbq, Elvis, Americana, what’s not to like, right?

Well- bugs: loud cicadas, mosquitos (unless you live in the rich zip codes that get sprayed – with no blood suckers even if there’s a huge swamp in the middle of your hood- ie. Chickasaw Gardens), fleas, bed bugs. Since Memphis is 99.9% super Christian, ala the Babble Belt, I think it’s best if they found out the plagues are upon them- lice (fleas/bed bugs), frogs (keep seeing them everywhere)- now I just need to borrow some of that red food coloring from the red velvet cakes to put in the river and we’re all set…

Did I mention there are bible verses running on the red digital display at the gas station? at the dry cleaners?

Did I mention that East Buntyn, the neighborhood is named after a slave trader who was upset that he lost The Civil War? and there’s a statue of Nathan Forrest, who helped start the KKK in the park over here in Memphis? Did I mention that public money goes to rich white people parks and public schools while the inner city kids get no grass and really bad schools?

The other reason I came here is because I got a full ride for a PhD program in Rhetoric & Communication at The University of Memphis. Here I am a week before school starts, having never taught during my master’s, and they want me to teach 3 sections of 25 kids each. They also want me to teach the stand alone class during a time slot in which they are trying to force me to take a particular class that no one wants to take. Therefore, there is a communication problem in this Communication department.

Three people from the same family from said university wrote a book that costs 90.00 each. The book is required for a class that is required of every single undergraduate that goes to said university.  Said university offers 40 sections of said required class per semester. PhD students are required to teach these sections. Start doing some math. “Non-profit” academia is not what I thought it would be.

The only consolation has been hiding out in a huge apartment with huge windows, after a narrow escape from renting a house where the landlord made racial comments, insulted my mother’s health problems and wouldn’t compensate for the mold, lead paint, and vermin that were our roommates. Don’t worry, we shelled out for a lawyer.

Being a Tarheel, I thought, how different could Western Tennessee be? Well, it’s very different from Eastern Tennessee (Nashville & Knoxville)- where people make fun of their counterparts next to the Mississippi.

So, kids, think twice before you watch indie movies and think it’s ok to live in certain parts of the South.

The train screams like a cat being fried alive and honks like a half dead goose loudly from anywhere in this small town, no matter what neighborhood you can afford.

Memphis makes you feel all ooey-gooey, not in a good way.

Met a man on Beale Street- he said, “Where ya from?”.

I says, “LA.”.

He says, “Lower Alabama?”.

I shoulda gone to NO-LA. People understand me there.